Thing I Eight

Dr. Bloggles says that Instant Messaging is better than instant coffee but not as good as an instant massage. I like to spread the joy of Bloggles across the tundra, and sometimes I don't have time for email. Email is for three-toed sloths and human dinosaurs who do their banking on an abacus.

My library uses email to mail things electronically. We do email reference, which is important out here. Last night I answered a query from a U2 spy plane pilot who needed some directions. We also use email as an internal communication tool. I am the only staff member, but I find it helpful to facilitate communication between the better angels of my nature and the nihilistic harlot living in my belly.

Web conferencing is another 2.0 tool that is highly prized in the Siberian wastes. This is a good way for a self-taught surgeon like me to brush up on new techniques like anaesthetic. I watched a webinar the other day on gal bladder surgery. It was very useful to be able to learn in the convenience of my own space and to be able to ask questions of the presenter in real time. I should have waited to begin my operation until after I watched the webinar instead of trying to follow along, but this is a learning process. It took me a few tries to remember to electronically raise my hand instead of actually raising my hand, which led to what we call in the biz "elective incisions."

I am an active user of text messaging on my phone. It can be imperfect, however. I like to keep in touch with some of my dozens of mongrel children. I am hoping that one of them will have an abnormality to earn a circus pension for its father. But one time I was walking to the crafts store through the snow and I saw a Russian Orthodox trader on a frozen lake on Lent. Knowing what an emergency this was, I texted the authorities ROTFLOL and I got nothing for my troubles but a KGB warning not to waste the airwaves.

I attended the OPAL webinar program detailing the life of Pt Barnum. It was interesting but did not give detailed instructions for obtaining a Soviet Circus Pension for my mutant offspring. So I give it an "8" in honor of the Thing.